A LOOOOOONG 4 WEEKS

I hate how this blog is just turning into my occasional rants about how I hate being in my house and how I'm in a technological dark age, but it feels too good. lol. Let me start by saying that I love my parents. I can see and feel that they love and care for me. I want to get mad at them for trivial material things, but I just can't. And it still makes me angry and frustrated! For example!

I didn't get a phone until my senior year, and I was lucky to get one by then. My parents, especially my dad, think that if it is not a necessity to them, it isn't for me and my brother. And the thing is, they both need cellphones! My mom has one, but my dad really needs one. Even the old guys at the shop he works at have phones. He needs to sit at home by our land line to wait for him to get called in to work, and he has missed several phone calls because of being outside and whatever. Its frustrating to see that he cant just do something convenient for once.

Here is the latest subject. It seems like such a waste to be angry about, considering people are a whole lot worse off than i am, but I don't have texting and wont have texting for quite sometime. Everytime I see you guys text I get pretty agitated. I want to be able to a partake in something that is such a commonality in our age group, but no, I am not allowed to. It isn't a god damn luxury anymore! And to top it all off, my mom has texting. WTF. How does this even make sense?

I am typing this on a dial up internet connection, and the worst kind of dial up to boot. I can't understand why my parents can't update their lives like the rest of the effing world. If this makes me needy, then I guess I'm needy for wanting what everybody else I know takes for granted. And at the same time that I'm writing this, I feel so guilty for sounding so superficial and materialistic. I guess I should be lucky to have a home to live in; some people dont ven have that. The whole situation makes me feel like shit 1) because it really isnt a big deal 2) anybody that tells me that it isn't a big deal will have texting, high speed internet, and other modern commodities that are no longer considered a luxury item.

The big issue I have with all of this is that I feel cut off. I don't know of anybody my age who doesn't have what seems like standard possessions. Believe me, I know that a person is not judged by thier possessions, but it would sure would be nice to meet a little bit of the status quo. I feel like I shouldn't post such a "woe is me" type thing, but I just hope you don't take what you have for granted, no matter meaningless these things are. I don't want to insinuate that you should feel sorry for me, just listen to my pathetic vent. That's all the intent really is, a personal journal just wont do the trick for me : )

can't wait to see everybody again. : )